Plea to Catholic School Parents: Complain Well

“Father, are you aware of the novels that our 6^th grade English teacher is having our children read?” 

No one likes an incessant complainer and most people don’t want to be known as one. But if we want the Catholic Church and its schools to improve, then it is actually helpful, often necessary, for our bishops, pastors, and school principals to hear from parents and grandparents when they are troubled by what they are witnessing at school. Ideally, pastors and principals, the leaders that they are, will proactively seek feedback which certainly makes it easier to deliver it. But even otherwise good leaders often get busy and there is a right way to approach them when things need to improve, especially at your school.

Here are a few guiding principles to complaining well in order to improve your school for the sake of your children, your grandchildren, and their classmates:

1. The Catholic principle of subsidiarity matters. If you see an issue with a particular teacher, for example, don’t go right to the bishop to complain. Try to address the problem with the person closest to it. The person may in fact be unaware of the problem and will receive the criticism well and be open to correction.

2. Be as specific as possible. Be prepared to support your complaint with examples, relevant facts, possibly some research when appropriate, and ideally some potential solutions.

3. Listen to their response. They may offer a different perspective. They may challenge some of your assumptions. Be open to being wrong! Then clarify when necessary.

4. If they do not address your concerns and you see little hope for change, then you have an obligation to the students and the other parents to begin the process of going up the chain of command. The chain of command generally begins with the teacher, then the principal, and then the pastor if it is a parish school. The pastor is ultimately responsible for what happens in his parish school. If it is an independent Catholic school then instead of a pastor it would be a board member. You could stop there but you may also find it necessary to alert the superintendent and even the bishop if you believe the issue may exist at other schools or if the pastor is not taking the issue seriously enough. This should all be done relatively quickly…within a week or so of the original complaint. Give the principal and the pastor a chance to respond before going to the diocese. A couple days should be enough time unless you are aware that the pastor or principal are traveling.

5. Be respectful. Recognize that leaders have many demands on their time and attention. Bishops, pastors, and principals are faced with constant challenges. Use prudence to balance urgency with patience.

6. If the problem affects other students, encourage other parents and grandparents to speak up as well. This is crucial. Many issues require multiple complaints – a bit of a paper trail – for a leader to feel comfortable taking action. In matters of prudential judgment, it helps them to know that it is not just one person complaining.

7. Finally, don’t allow complaints to be the only feedback they hear from you. Be sure to praise your teachers and other leaders when warranted, early and often. Everyone responds better to constructive criticism when they are also hearing positive comments along the way.

Our Catholic schools are too important to not complain when something is wrong. And there is plenty that is in fact wrong with many Catholic schools, ranging from inappropriate literature choices or the presence of Internet-enabled devices, to an overreliance on secular teaching credentials at the expense of hiring faithful Catholics who uphold all Church teachings. Enrollment has plummeted for decades while too many Catholic schools followed in the misguided footsteps of the nearby public schools. That has been a recipe for disaster since parents choose to send their children to Catholic schools because they want something materially different, something better and more beautiful than what is happening at public schools. It is time for parents and grandparents to raise their voice and encourage those in charge of our Catholic schools to have the vision and courage they need to fulfill their duty to provide our children with an education that cultivates their faith, their intellect, and their sense of wonder. 

So please, start complaining and do it well!

Mike Ortner is president of the Ortner Family Foundation.